Project: Use my self-hatred to improve my life

So, the last couple of month I've gained over 30 kg (~60 pounds), build some bad habits, got lazy and lost contact with a couple of friends. Why? I am not really sure. Small bad habits – like eating more fast food. less sport and such – sneaked into my life at some point and they gained a lot of momentum. A month a ago I was at the lowest point of my life (so far), but I've somehow managed to crawl out of this hole and decided to find a new job, start new projects and work on myself again. And here we are.

Getting fat and being lazy is easy

And that is the point I am going to 'exploit'. I ate so much shit, stopped going to the gym. stopped to meditate, got lazy and so on and I think the cause for this is some kind of self-hatred. I mean, I could learn to love myself, but instead I am going to try to exploit my self-hatred. But how?

Eating healthy is draining. Going to the gym is exhausting. Take time for the mental health feels like wasting time. Cold showers are awful. Right? – I really used to 'love' these activities, but this time I try another approach. According to my self-hatred I only deserve things that make me uncomfortable. These things are making me uncomfortable. And here we start 'the journey'.

'Be a man'

I started to bitch about the smallest things, got sick all the time, had no discipline and that has to change, immediately. I have some ideas how to improve my current mindset, which I will present you in a bit.

'Hard Choices, Easy Life. Easy Choices, Hard Life'

I can confirm this quote. It isn't worth to live like a fat couch potato. I can directly compare two lifestyles. Healthy, fit, successfully vs always sick, fat, lazy. Only one path works in the long run, and we all know it.

My 'self-hatred' routine & rules


Going to gym again for at least 3 times a week. Daily at least 5000+ steps.


No fast food. No sugar. No caffeine. No bread. :(

Water + tea +healthy food

Mental health

Daily meditation. Less video games (some kind of draining addiction). Read at least 15 minutes daily. Get rid of big time wasters e.g. gaming PC and other stuff.

New projects

This blog + documentation of my 'journey' to motivate other people. #Fit2Fat

WorkWorkWorkTV. Network for people to work 'together' (going to publish a separated blog post later on).

Build a web app to document the progress for everyone.


Get fit and don't be a little bitch. I would be happy when I motivate other people with this, but I am going to do it anyway. In some way I will suffer, but in a good way. I guess.

I am going to publish more posts here and share frequently updates on Twitter & the Fediverse.